A coworker starts talking to me and I still have my AirPods in. Do I really have to take them out?

You’re heads-down on a spreadsheet with your earbuds in when a colleague appears at your elbow, already mid-sentence. You catch half of it. Do you pull both buds out, which feels like a big production? Tug one out and keep the other in? Or nod along, because your AirPods supposedly turn the music down when someone talks?

It’s awkward because both of you have a fair point. You put the earbuds in to get work done in a noisy room. They walked over because they need something. Whatever you do in the next three seconds tells them how welcome they are.

Why the earbuds have to come out

Wearing headphones at your desk is not the problem. Noise in shared offices is real and measurable: Bond University researcher Libby Sander writes that her research found moderate open-plan noise produced a 25% increase in negative mood and a 34% increase in physiological stress. She also notes that headphones are how people signal they don’t want to be interrupted, which is legitimate, and that teams can cut distracting interruptions by agreeing on set times for discussion.

The conversation is a different matter. Your colleague can’t see what’s playing in your ears, or whether anything is. Leaving buds in reads as “I’m giving you part of my attention and planning to go back to my podcast.” Debrett’s, the British etiquette authority, is unambiguous: take out both earbuds and focus on the conversation, and it warns that keeping one in makes you look distracted or only partly engaged.

What about the tech? Apple’s Conversation Awareness lowers your media volume when you start speaking and boosts voices in front of you, on certain AirPods models. It’s handy for ordering coffee. It does nothing for the other person, who still sees two white stems and has no idea whether you can hear them. Manners are about what the other person experiences, not what your settings menu says.

What to say

When the answer changes

• You’re on a call. If you’re mid-meeting, it’s fine to point at your earbuds, mouth “on a call,” and hold up a finger. Follow up when you’re free.
• Quick hallway hello. A smile and a wave while passing is enough; you don’t need to de-bud for “morning!”
• Hearing devices. Some people use earbuds as hearing aids or for captioning and accessibility. If a colleague keeps theirs in, assume there’s a reason and don’t comment.
• A customer or your manager. With anyone you serve or report to, err on the side of formality: both buds out, eyes up, every time.
• Open-plan offices with lots of collaboration. If your team talks constantly, all-day headphones can shut you out. Debrett’s suggests a quiet room for deep focus instead.