# The person next to me on the train is watching videos with the sound on. Can I say something?

> A video blares two seats away, or someone takes a speakerphone call the whole bus can follow. You want quiet without starting a scene.

URL: https://courteo.us/daily/speakerphone-videos-on-transit/
Series: The Daily Dilemma No. 6
Published: 2026-10-26
Author: The Courteous Editors
Category: Commuting & travel

**The verdict (Ask once, kindly):** Yes. A single, friendly request to turn it down or use headphones is fair on trains, buses and planes. Keep it short, assume good faith, and if it doesn’t work or the person seems volatile, move or ask a conductor or flight attendant rather than escalating.

The train pulls out, you open your book, and the person across the aisle starts scrolling short videos at full volume: a laugh track, a recipe, someone yelling about crypto, a laugh track again. Or a seatmate on the bus takes a call on speaker, and twenty strangers now know about his cousin’s landlord dispute. On a plane, a toddler’s cartoon leaks out of an iPad with no headphones in sight.

It feels awkward because you’re stuck together, nobody wants a confrontation in an enclosed space, and you can’t be sure whether the person is oblivious, defiant or simply doesn’t own headphones.

## Why shared space means shared sound

Using a phone on transit is completely normal. In Pew Research Center’s survey on mobile etiquette, [75% of adults said it’s generally OK to use phones on public transportation](https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2015/08/26/americans-views-on-mobile-etiquette/). The question isn’t the phone. It’s the speaker.

Etiquette guidance has long asked phone users to manage their sound. The Emily Post Institute advises keeping calls on trains and buses [as short as possible](https://emilypost.com/advice/answering-your-cell-phone-in-public) and stepping into the vestibule between cars for anything lengthy. Its core cell-phone rules add a useful insight: phone voices run loud because *you* are the one straining to hear, so [tone it down](https://emilypost.com/advice/4-essential-cell-phone-rules). Where there are formal rules, they’re stricter still. In Amtrak’s Quiet Car, [phone calls are not allowed](https://www.amtrak.com/quiet-car) and headphone volume must be low enough that no one else can hear the audio.

So you’re within your rights to ask. The trick is to make the request easy to grant: specific, friendly and face-saving.

## What to say

> **If someone is playing videos or music out loud**

> “Sorry to bother you. Would you mind turning that down a bit, or using headphones? Thanks so much.”

> **If someone is on a speakerphone call**

> “Excuse me, your call’s on speaker. Could you switch it off speaker? I can hear both sides.”

> **If you’re on a plane and it isn’t stopping**

> (To a flight attendant, quietly, in the galley or by call button.) “The passenger in 23C has been playing audio without headphones. Would you mind mentioning it? I’d rather not make it a thing.”

## When the answer changes

- **Safety first.** If someone seems agitated, intoxicated or itching for a fight, don’t engage. Move seats or cars, or alert the conductor, driver or crew. Quiet is not worth a confrontation.
- **Quiet cars and quiet zones.** Where silence is posted, you can point to the sign gently: “Just a heads-up, this is the quiet car.”
- **A parent with a fussy child.** A cartoon may be what’s keeping a meltdown at bay. Be generous, and if you have spare earbuds, offering them is a lovely move.
- **Accessibility.** Someone may be using audio for navigation or have a hearing need. If the volume is modest, let it go.
- **Be ready for it to be you.** Carry cheap earbuds, keep calls short, and take long ones between cars or after you arrive.
- **Abroad.** Norms vary; in many countries quiet on transit is the strong default. Our [etiquette by country guide](https://courteo.us/cultural-etiquette-by-country/) has specifics.

> **Courteous rule of thumb**

> Ask once, kindly, and then hand it off. A friendly request works more often than a glare, and staff exist for the rest. For flights, see our [airplane etiquette guide](https://courteo.us/airplane-etiquette/).

## Sources

- [Pew Research Center — Americans’ Views on Mobile Etiquette (Aug. 2015)](https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2015/08/26/americans-views-on-mobile-etiquette/)
- [Emily Post Institute — Answering the Phone in Public](https://emilypost.com/advice/answering-your-cell-phone-in-public)
- [Emily Post Institute — 4 Essential Cell Phone Etiquette Rules](https://emilypost.com/advice/4-essential-cell-phone-rules)
- [Amtrak — Quiet Car](https://www.amtrak.com/quiet-car)

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